1. Don't Underestimate Yourself

"Stop underestimating yourself, and give yourself trust instead of doubt. Only then can you truly become the best version of yourself."

The piece opens with a warning about the habit of selling yourself short. It identifies this as a pattern especially common among Asian Americans, rooted in a fear of disappointing others.

• The childhood fear of disappointing parents continues to shape behavior into adulthood,
• leading to a habit of setting expectations low to avoid disappointment.
• "People want to follow leaders who lead with boldness and confidence. But this pattern fails to demonstrate those qualities."

2. The Root of Fear: Scarcity Mindset and Trauma

This self-protective attitude stems from a scarcity mindset.

• "From the premise that mistakes carry a cost, we avoid taking the risk of being wrong."
• This leads to Imposter Syndrome (Imposter Phenomenon):

  "Imposter Syndrome has a significant impact on mental health — it increases stress, anxiety, and depression, hinders career advancement, and lowers job satisfaction."

• The habit of underestimating yourself not only limits external opportunities, but also erodes your internal confidence and self-worth.
• "When you underestimate yourself, you make yourself smaller and ultimately diminish your own value."

3. Fear of Failure and the Absence of Leadership

• "Successful people don't ask for permission — they ask for forgiveness when they get it wrong. That's 'main character energy.'"
• Setting targets too low is the quintessential example of self-underestimation.
  • Asian founders, for instance, often present overly conservative revenue projections to investors.
  • "Who seems more credible — an absurdly optimistic founder, or a timidly conservative one?"
  • "Nobody bets their life on the numbers in your pitch deck. Yet people are uncomfortable if you're not 100% certain."
• Fear of failure or missing targets ultimately comes back to fear of disappointing others — especially parents.
  • "This kind of fear is not a desirable trait in a leader or founder."

4. Gender Differences in Confidence and Rule-Following

• According to an internal HP report:

  "Men apply when they meet 60% of the qualifications, but women wait until they meet 100%."

• A Harvard Business Review survey found:
  • 46.4% of men and 40.6% of women said they didn't apply because they felt underqualified and didn't want to waste their time.
  • 22% of women said they didn't apply out of fear of failure, compared to only 13% of men.
  • 15% of women said they followed the stated application requirements, while only 8% of men said the same.
• "Girls are socialized from a young age to follow the rules, while boys tend to be tolerated when they break them."
• The Confidence Gap matters just as much as skill when it comes to success.

5. The Gap Between Cultural Background and Reality for Asian Americans

• "Asian Americans grew up in households where failure and rule-breaking were not tolerated. Either one brought shame on their parents and family."
• Perfectionism and obedience are seen as the keys to success — yet
  • in reality, risk-taking and rule-breaking are what actually drive success.
• "If you never make mistakes and always follow the rules, you become a productive and obedient worker — nothing more. That's why so many Asian graduates get hired as analysts but rarely get promoted into leadership."
• Only speaking up when you're 100% certain causes you to miss opportunities.
  • "Other people confidently assert things as fact when they're only 50% sure."
  • "You don't have to be perfect all the time. It's okay to be wrong sometimes — just not too often, or you'll lose credibility."
  • "You have to be willing to bet on your own instincts."

6. Speak Up with Confidence and Advocate for Yourself

• "Whether it's data or gut instinct, make your arguments and proposals with confidence. That's how you earn recognition from your manager and demonstrate leadership."
• "If you sit quietly and second-guess yourself, you'll get neither promoted nor recognized."
• Research shows that lack of self-promotion leads to wage and promotion gaps.
• "All of this is self-sabotage in your career. Failing to raise startup funding, not landing the job you wanted, missing that promotion — it all comes down to a lack of self-belief."

7. "Sell Yourself" — The Importance of Self-Promotion

• "Selling yourself means getting proper credit for your achievements and value. If you don't, someone else will take that credit."
• "It's better to err on the side of over-promoting yourself. If you've never advocated for yourself before, even trying might still fall short."
• "Self-promotion is one of the rules for gaining power, influence, and success. If you've done good work, you must claim that credit."

8. "Act As If" — Behave As Though You've Already Achieved It

"'Act as if you've already achieved your goal' means consciously behaving like someone who has already reached that goal, even when you doubt your abilities or face obstacles. It creates a self-fulfilling prophecy that builds self-assurance and drives positive change." — Cognitive Behavioral Therapy LA

• The "Act As If" technique is a cognitive-behavioral strategy for overcoming self-doubt and lack of confidence.
  • By behaving as though you've already achieved your goals,
  • you build new behavioral patterns and a stronger sense of self-belief.
  • Over time, these attitudes and behaviors become internalized, and your self-perception itself changes.
  • "Like playing the role of a successful person, you can internalize that attitude and those behaviors."

9. The Importance of Goal-Setting and Growth

• "You can only improve if you set goals for yourself. When you compete against people who are better than you, your own skills improve."
• "Without a goal, there's nothing to reach for — so you won't even try in the first place. Setting your targets low to avoid failure is ultimately just deceiving yourself."
• Don't underestimate yourself. Give yourself your own trust. Only then can you become the best version of yourself.

Key Concepts

• Self-underestimation
• Imposter Syndrome
• Scarcity mindset
• Fear of failure/mistakes
• Confidence Gap
• Self-promotion (self-advocacy)
• Act As If technique
• Goal-setting
• Cultural background (Asian Americans, gender differences)
• Leadership and risk-taking

Closing

This piece explains how the habit of underestimating yourself blocks your growth and success, and why it matters to act with confidence, advocate for yourself, and behave as though you've already achieved your goals — illustrated through a range of examples, research, and memorable lines. "Believe in yourself and take bold action. The best version of you starts with that belief!" 🚀