This piece offers advice to people who are about to become suddenly rich. It clearly explains what money can give you and what it cannot, and points toward a path for finding real happiness. The core message is that money can provide ease and comfort, but true joy and satisfaction are still things you have to find for yourself.
1. The Paradox of Wealth and Happiness: Between Expectation and Reality
The piece begins by saying "congratulations" to people who are about to make a great deal of money. The author notes that the word "rich" can feel different to everyone, and says that if you are about to receive far more money than you expected, you will probably be happy.
But research on money and happiness reveals something interesting. A 1978 study of Illinois lottery winners found that within a year of winning, their happiness was not very different from that of ordinary neighbors. They even reported significantly less enjoyment from everyday pleasures such as ham and eggs, pleasant conversations, and compliments. 😢 Forty years later, a large Swedish study also found that lottery winners had higher life satisfaction, but their day-to-day happiness and mental health did not change much.
These findings carry an important message: money can buy us relief and comfort, but it cannot directly buy joy. In the end, finding joy remains each person's own work.
"Money buys relief and comfort. But it does not buy joy. That part is still your job."
2. The Different Lives Wealth Can Create 🏞️
The author also looks back on being at a hot company approaching an IPO when he was young, and watching how friends and colleagues changed after money arrived. The metaphor is memorable: at first, it feels exciting and awkward, like fitting yourself into a new pair of jeans, but over time it becomes familiar and part of life.
He witnessed three broad types of people.
- People who left to find their real selves (the aquarium fish group) 🐠: Some colleagues left tech like aquarium fish released into a vast blue ocean, setting out to find their true dreams. It was surprising, almost like a Cinderella transformation, to see unexpectedly brilliant engineers say they no longer cared about influential projects and become chefs, hoteliers, artists, therapists, writers, teachers, or parents. Their choices raise the question: "When you are given the gift of freedom, what will you bloom into?"
- People who pursued a leisurely upper-class life (the leisure group) 🥂: Others traveled to exotic places in search of Michelin-starred restaurants, decorated stylish homes with expensive furniture, bought Disneyland VIP upgrades, and purchased high-end luxury clothing, enjoying a glamorous and leisurely upper-class life.
- People who kept doing the work and chasing growth (the straight-ahead group) 🏃♀️: Another group stayed in tech and kept moving forward. Some became founders or venture investors; others spent years at the same company or similar startups, going through successes and failures while continuing to chase the thrill of growth.
3. What Money Changes, What It Does Not, and Why Connection Matters 🤝
The author says he noticed a common pattern and an important lesson across all three groups.
Some people used their new money to achieve goals they had long dreamed of, such as buying their parents a house or funding retirement. They may have changed cars or moved into a somewhat larger home, but their everyday attitude and relationships with people around them did not change much. They could still interact and connect easily with almost anyone.
But in the opposite case, the more things money can buy became part of one's identity, the more other people began to see that person as a certain character. You become the person who always eats at expensive restaurants, throws enormous events for a child's birthday party, and shows off rare watches and cars. Even if you do not intend it, the shiny things money can buy may wrap around you until people can no longer see your essence.
"For people who don't have what you have, this shiny cloak is so visible that they may no longer be able to see you properly. You become harder to connect with."
Money will certainly change your life. But the author's central advice is that whether it changes you is entirely up to you.
4. The Game of "More": The Courage to Stop 🛑
When money comes in, there is one question many people do not think about deeply: "Am I still playing the game of making more?"
One founder, after becoming worth hundreds of billions of won, reportedly said that beyond a certain point, money is just a scoreboard. For him, money was a measure of what he had achieved and where he ranked against competitors. If you like that game and recognize it as a game, it is fine to keep playing.
The people the author worries about are those who do not enjoy the game but keep playing because everyone around them is playing it. Especially among those who stay in tech and keep pushing or sprinting forward, many were afraid to stop and ask, "What happens if I stop? Who am I if I am not a winning player?"
The author answers: "You will still be you. And that is enough." 💫 He adds a hopeful message that there may even be something far grander beyond that.
5. The Illusion of Leisure and the Value of Meaningful Pain 😔➡️😊
No one believes it at first, but one important thing the author learned from the leisure group is that the leisurely life we long for does not always bring happiness. It looks wonderful on social media and sounds like a fantastic adventure story to friends, but after getting what they wanted, many people fell into deep sadness because of stronger cravings, higher expectations, and lower tolerance.
By contrast, what mattered about the "aquarium fish group" (artists, therapists, teachers, and so on) was that they were not escaping from work; they were moving toward meaning. Their work involved pain, but they understood that the pain was the other side of satisfaction.
The author also points out that money provides financial stability, but if you felt anxious before the money arrived, you may feel a different kind of anxiety afterward. That is because anxiety may not be about one specific situation; it may be part of who you are until you learn how to break old patterns of thought.
6. The Hardest Question After Financial Freedom: Finding Real Happiness 🧘♀️
After you gain financial freedom, the hardest lesson arrives: you no longer have an excuse for why you are not happy. You now have everything society says people want: security, freedom, and status.
If you are still unhappy, you have no choice but to turn your gaze inward and look inside yourself. Money is a great gift because it strips away all the external explanations. What remains is "you," and while that can be frightening, it can also be the beginning of a truly wonderful inner journey.
"The greatest gift of money is that it strips away every external explanation. What remains is you, and that may be frightening, but it may also be the start of a truly wonderful inner journey."
7. How to Use Money Wisely: Memory and Sharing 💖
So how should you use this money? The author offers a few practical suggestions.
- Find a financial advisor 🧑🏫: The more money you have, the easier it becomes to make more money, but taxes, investment strategy, and other complex issues make professional help important.
- Make memories with other people 👨👩👧👦: The best answer the author found is "creating memories with other people." Happiness research suggests that people who spend money on others are happier than those who spend it only on themselves. And the experiences that stay with us are the ones we share.
- There are grand ways to do this, but also many small, modest ways.
- You can host more dinner parties without worrying about catering costs.
- You can be the person who says first, "I have an extra ticket. Want to come?"
- You can sponsor a family gathering that would normally feel out of reach.
- You can use your extra leisure time to serve the local community.
These things may not trend on social media, but in the author's experience they are the investments with the highest return on happiness.
8. The Truth About the Happiness Lottery: Unexpected Results 🧐
Years later, the author's former colleagues conducted an informal survey. The question was, "When you think about your life today, are you happier than you were before the IPO?" The result was shocking.
- About half said their level of happiness was about the same.
- About 30% said they were happier.
- But 20%, or one in five, said they were less happy than before.
The author closes by hoping that the reader will end up on the side of this happiness lottery where more people can say they are happy.
Closing Thoughts
In the end, money is not a magic wand that solves life's problems. It gives us more choices and freedom, but real happiness cannot be bought with money. It depends on the values we use to spend that money, the people we build relationships with, and the meaning we choose to pursue. For people about to receive sudden wealth, this piece offers a thoughtful compass for staying steady through the changes ahead and finding real happiness. 🧭✨