This video is a talk by Professor Kim Suyoung of Seoul National University's Department of Social Welfare, who draws on extensive research experience with single-person households to warmly unpack the realities of living alone, its social significance, and future outlook. It covers a wide range of topics -- from the structural and social backdrop behind the rise of single-person households, to the correlation between economic affluence and happiness, family relationships, government policy directions, and the difficulties faced when living alone along with potential solutions. Through the question "Is living alone really as free and happy as we imagine?", it's a video that invites deep reflection on our own lives.
1. The Background of the Surge in Single-Person Households: Choice or Structural Phenomenon?
The host begins by noting that as of 2024, single-person households have exceeded 8 million, saying "it really seems like single-person households have become mainstream in society." Professor Kim Suyoung explains why she began her research by interviewing diverse single-person households.
"The media portrays single-person households in extreme terms. On one side, there's the lonely elderly person dying alone; on the other, the impoverished young person, or the glamorous, leisurely single life of a celebrity."
Feeling skeptical of this binary image, she has documented over 100 single-person households through photos and interviews.
The increase in single-person households is by no means "solely a matter of personal choice" -- social structures are driving this lifestyle. For example, among young women, the spread of feminism has led some to think "marriage is crazy," while others wanted to marry but couldn't or kept postponing until time passed, and various other reasons exist.
In particular, she explains with real examples how 'greedy occupations' (in knowledge, finance, and media sectors) have a disproportionately high share of single-person households.
"In finance, where you have to watch charts in real time, many people are still single even in their 40s." "In the media industry, you travel far for shoots and pull all-nighters editing, so marriage just doesn't happen easily."
She also emphasizes how these changes in industrial structure have transformed family forms.
"Agricultural society had extended families, industrial society had nuclear families, and in a finance-and-service capitalist society, the single-person household is the most efficient model."
2. What Do People Living Alone Live For? Self-Production Structures and Burnout
In a family-centered society, there's a clear structure of 'working for the family.' But single-person households say they live for themselves.
"Now the self has taken the place of the family. In other words, it's the era of 'self-production' and 'self-reproduction.'"
Values like 'self-care, self-improvement, self-actualization' have become important, and along with that comes significant pressure to constantly upgrade oneself. Because work and self-identity are so strongly intertwined,
"When you stop working, it feels like the basis for your existence disappears -- a sense of loss as if your very being has vanished," she diagnoses.
Additionally, single-person households tend to view their homes as places just for sleeping and prefer housing near their workplace. People in their 20s and 30s in particular get buried in work and quickly experience burnout, and many in their 40s and beyond begin reassessing their life rhythms due to health issues.
"A life where work and self have become one -- that's the reality of single-person households."
3. Money and Happiness: Are Wealthy Single-Person Households Really Happier?
There's a prevailing notion that "if you have money, you can be happy living alone," but the professor says that after interviewing wealthy single-person households, many were actually experiencing social isolation and depression.
"'If you have money, don't get married!' The advice from a famous grandmother YouTuber is treated like myth in unmarried communities, but that grandmother's economic and social assets actually all came from her family."
Using French sociologist Bourdieu's concepts of 'social capital' (human relationships) and 'cultural capital' (inner tastes, life skills),
"Even with lots of money in the bank, you can be incredibly lonely if you lack real friends or practical life skills."
High-income single-person households have a culture of 'distinction' where they only befriend "people who can drink wine with them, people who can discuss vision," and they often lack practical life skills.
"Seeing a Seoul National University graduate who couldn't properly ladle soup, and hearing her mother say, 'I raised my child well but never taught her things like this' -- it was heartbreaking."
Conversely, people with lower incomes but many life skills or emotionally supportive networks often report higher levels of happiness.
Furthermore, an actual Seoul single-person household survey found that the 'high-income professional group' was the most severely affected by loneliness and depression.
"You'd think higher income naturally means greater happiness, but that group is actually the most vulnerable to social isolation."
4. Social Isolation of Single-Person Households and Policy Dilemmas
No matter how much the number of single-person households grows, institutions and policies are still 'family-centered,' she emphasizes, and because of this, many single-person households inevitably still feel like minorities.
"Single-person households who experiment with living with friends or creating alternative communities are actually closer to being the lucky ones. Most don't even have the luxury to do that."
In policy debates, there are concerns that "supporting unmarried people and single-person households will worsen the declining birth rate," but Professor Kim compares the massive transformation in family structure (de-familialization) to tectonic shifts that small individual or policy efforts alone cannot stop.
"Just as erecting filial piety monuments during the transition from agricultural to industrial society couldn't prevent the dissolution of extended families, today's marriage-promotion policies are only partially meaningful."
Regarding housing in particular, she conveys experts' voices saying that having at least two rooms or more has made "life fundamentally different,"
"It would be great if policies changed to allow acquaintances to rent shared rooms together," she also emphasizes.
5. Real Difficulties of Living Alone: Housework, Meals, and Care Gaps
Many people assume "living alone makes housework and meals simple," but the data shows the opposite. Statistics indicate that people living alone cite two things as their greatest hardships: 'there's nobody to take care of me when I'm sick' and 'it's hard to cook for myself.'
"Family is, in essence, 'the people you eat together with.' When the conversations and praise that come with eating together disappear, meals become nothing more than mechanical nutrient intake."
She also points out that because market structures are still family-centered, there's a lack of small-portioned ingredients and single-serving meals, leading to significant food waste and guilt.
"Frozen leftover rice taken from the freezer is never 'home cooking.' Mom's rice is home cooking; my rice is just cold leftover rice."
High-income single-person households find it difficult to use even contactless services ('MomSitter,' delivery, etc.) because they're reluctant to let strangers into their private space. She adds the reality that in environments where frequent deep cleaning isn't necessary, homes easily become messy.
6. Single-Person Households and Family of Origin: Reconfiguring Family Relationships
Even as single-person households, many maintain close relationships with their 'family of origin' -- parents, siblings, nieces and nephews.
"In actual surveys, 46% of unmarried single-person households said 'I'm obsessed with my niece/nephew' or 'my niece/nephew is essentially my own child.'"
When parents fall ill or nephews and nieces need care, singles are often the first to take on the 'backup member' role in the family. She explains the cultural reality that when parents enter long-term care, the burden disproportionately falls on unmarried children.
However, once parents pass away and ties with nieces and nephews gradually weaken, one can become a 'truly single-person family' and fall into extreme loneliness -- an important point she also raises.
7. What Happy Single-Person Households Look Like, and the Luxury of the 'Right to Be Sick'
That said, the professor emphasizes that not everyone struggles.
"Even having just one or two of the three types of capital (economic, social, cultural), many people feel happy on their own."
However, she points out that the vulnerability of the social safety net is a major risk factor,
"When you live alone, you have to plan your entire life by yourself, and you can easily collapse from even a small shock."
Especially when sick, people feel a deep sense of helplessness and loneliness, wondering, 'Don't I even have the right to be sick?'
"When you got sick from the COVID vaccine, it was hard to rest at home. Many people went to the office and lay down there because they worried their acquaintances would contact them and worry."
While government-provided temporary programs like 'social dining' and neighborhood-care networking can partially compensate, she regrets that community-based daily safety nets remain fundamentally weak.
The issue of 'lonely death' -- dying alone -- is also importantly mentioned.
"There are three stages of death: dying (the process), death (the moment), and after-death (post-mortem). For single-person households, the last stage is entirely alone. Many have the fear: 'What if nobody finds me for three weeks after I die?'"
She notes that this anxiety is further amplified by media reporting styles (highlighting only lonely deaths), and strongly emphasizes the need for public funerals, charitable asset trusts, and other post-mortem systems.
Conclusion
Lastly, Professor Kim Suyoung reflects that choosing to live as a single-person household 'appears to be very personal but is heavily influenced by structural social forces.' She closes the video by emphasizing to many people the absolute necessity of planning not from a short-term perspective, but one that looks across your entire life cycle, including old age and beyond.
"When you choose to live alone, you really need to think long-term, layering multiple stages to envision your future and build a life plan."
This was a video that addressed the growing single-person household society, the changed meanings of family and the individual, and the challenges we all need to think about together -- kindly yet without heaviness.